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Miles tries to read people’s souls via their garage sale merchandise, while Bob sees the natural and unnatural on the highway.
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She said. That’s all she said. She’s large. She’s large. She’s large. Hey everyone, Miles here. Did you hear that tonight? Yeah, a little bit, yeah. A little bit? Okay, kind of low. Yeah. Working on it. Mm-hmm. Unbreakable. We alive, damn it. Where’s this girl at? What’s up? Where’s that girl at? Isn’t there a girl that says something? A girl that says something? Yeah, like, you’re live. Oh, that already happened. You missed it. Oh, fuck. Live streaming is on. You weren’t paying attention. Yeah, that’s what… Yeah, that’s what you’re doing. Not paying attention. Just spending an hour trying to start a stream of urine for Cry 6. Cry 6. I’m old now. How is it? What? Explain this to me. Let’s go out of the show. Let’s just go out of the show. Okay, let’s go. I don’t. Yeah, the whole stream of urine thing. I’m not quite getting. Yeah, you don’t want it. Yeah. What do you do?
Stick something up your peen when you’re young or something? What’s going on? That’s another story. Like a kazoo up there or something? Yeah. And you can play too. It’s a flute. It’s a flute. I was thinking it was a literal skin flute. Just saying. Yeah, they call me Bubbles. Well, I have something strange to talk about tonight. Very strange. You didn’t introduce yourself. I did. You’re not fucking paying attention. I said, this is Bob. Welcome to the show. Oh, I didn’t hear that either, man. God, let me rewind everything. Jesus. No, I’ll forget. Okay, just go. This guy is like blinking. You miss it. Mr. Pay attention. I’m sitting here. watching the wheels go round and round. All right. Yeah, so this is Bob. And this is Miles. There you go. Okay. I got one story for you. Go ahead. Now I took a time on that. So this is a few weeks ago. And I was driving on the highway. I was going up to Decatur. Yes. And
uh i can’t remember where it was that exactly because maybe this will be uh mean something to somebody and they can kind of explain this to me or something but so i think it was close to glenarm or uh you know somewhere just outside of springfield illinois okay i go i’m driving and you know there’s lots of overpasses on the highway and i’m driving down the highway, you know, at 75 miles an hour, whatever this highway speed is. And I swear, I saw something like hang its head down from the overpass, underneath the overpass, in the girders yeah yeah and then and then like kind of looked around, and then went back up into the girders. Now… Okay. Yeah, I know. Are there children up in the girders? Well… I mean, it was so much so… I mean, I was approaching it. I wasn’t under it yet.
This thing like drops like just, you know, kind of like head and shoulders. Yeah. Looks around right back up. And I’m like, and so then as I’m going underneath there, I’m like leaned way forward so I can try to look up while I’m driving. I mean, it was so freaky and it wasn’t like, uh, it was like a child size thing. Yeah. It wasn’t like a construction type person, you know what I’m saying? It wasn’t like the village people, was it? No, it wasn’t the village people, I don’t think. Unless it was the diminutive village people, perhaps. Was it a manatee? It wasn’t a manatee. That would be big. You could be mistaken for a manatee. Yeah, that’s true. And so, yeah, I was so weirded out. I was like, it was like child size, and there was no features. It was totally black. Like, just darkness. Maybe it was smooth. The shape of a child’s head and shoulders. Yeah. Any ideas? Uh…
Are there any escaped monkeys maybe? Everybody goes for the monkey, right? Anytime you see something hanging up from underneath the overpass, it’s always a monk. I don’t think there was any escaped monkeys in the area. I mean, you always hear about that on the news. When it was kind of cold, you know what I mean? Yeah. It’s been probably like two months ago, maybe. Yeah, two months ago. It was a bear cup. No, round head. Hmm. Roundish, not like a bear, which got the ears and all that, you know. That was weird. That was, it was really weird. I mean. It waved to you and handed you a beer and you’re like, wow. No, no, it didn’t wave at me just like just like i said looked out, looked around and then popped back up. Gone. A large rock didn’t hit your car, did it? After you passed no all right okay it’s not a kid. Okay.
No, well, I have been in a car that’s been hit by a large rock. In the past. Yes. I don’t know. This is, uh. Yeah, I almost came through the windshield. That big, it was a huge rock. It was like silent bowling ball. Like someone threw it at you? Yeah. Actually, I was talking i went to front to my friend indicator Yeah, yeah, that happened. The big rock happened in decatur yeah yeah okay yeah you said there was something like before where i almost got myself killed because of two times. Once when the rock hit and then once because we started chasing people. And that was probably not the right thing to do in that part of town so yeah i was younger so yeah i did not stop. I did not uh
investigate any further other than I was like really like what the hell just happened you didn’t pull over and like get out your flashlight I was just like oh my gosh there’s a guy hanging wait a minute it was like a kid hanging from the overpass underneath just his head not like his whole body but then I’m like no there’s not there’s a man on the wing yeah exactly I looked in my rearview mirror I was really kind of like, what the hell? Yeah. It looked like somebody was just curious and just looked around and then went back. That’s weird. It was weird. That is weird. I’ve been saving that one for you. There you go. Well, you talk to all these cryptid people all the time. Why don’t you just email them?
I will. I mean, I’ll eventually get to that, but, you know, I like I thought I’d throw it at you first and see what little information I would get you well this is a new cryptoid, you know, I mean, the bridge street overpass or whatever and you know it’s called the turd burglar yeah and orgenta arienta or the fuck yeah yeah Yeah. I don’t know. That’s weird. No, I’ve never had something like that. Now you’ve got me interested. Well, I mean, you always have these, like, I saw an orb. Hey, I saw an orb. Well, I usually doubt you whenever you’re like, hey, there was an earthquake this morning. I’m like, no, there wasn’t. You know, there was. Yeah, there was. Remember? Like, I’m always doubting you. Yeah, well, that’s because you were whacking off in the shower. You’re like, no, there wasn’t an earthquake. Yeah.
Eric was moving for me. I know that. And then you find out it’s true. You’re like, oh, hey. I’m really good at distracting myself. That is weird. So you saw some kind of cryptid or something. I saw something. I don’t know what it was. It poked its head out, looked around, and just… It was a blink and you miss it kind of a situation. I can tell you that. Was it a bird, maybe? No, because it was too big. It was literally child-sized. It looked like a child-sized shadow. Yeah. That’s weird. It wasn’t man-sized. Yeah. It definitely was smaller than that. Was it the little guy from Game of Thrones? Was it that guy? Peter Dinklage. Well, he’s got, I think, average size head, but he’s just very diminutive. This was like, you know, swimming from the overpass. I think you can put out a book on this, like all the cryptoids you’ve seen. I’m adding it to my list. Your UFO sightings, now you’ve got cryptids. Mm-hmm.
Ghosts? You were in a haunted church to the shadow thing that i saw, so. Yeah. But it was under an overpass, so i wasn’t sure what to call it. And it was daytime, right? Oh, yeah. It was uh like probably like eight seven or eight in the morning yeah i was i was trucking on up north, and then i think you need to check this out. Well, I wasn’t going to stop. I was on a schedule. Oh, I see. I’m always in, you know, I don’t just drive around like you aimlessly. Hey, today I think I’ll just burn a tank of gas. Let’s go. That is me. That is funny. You’re always doing that. You’re like, let’s see how far we can go this way before we have to turn around and come back.
and then i about it like, I just spent 30 bucks for nothing, man. Yeah, I just burned a whole tank of gas for no reason. I’m an idiot. All I got was this fantastic, greasy burger yeah yeah so i mean i’m always i’ve got to meet somebody, or i’ve got to be somewhere, or Man on the road very purposeful right you just wouldn’t drive around and be like No, that’s not me. That’s weird. I don’t know. That’s strange and funny. Strange and humorous. I like strange stories with no conclusion. I do like them. I’ve been up that way since then. Didn’t see anything. But I will keep an eye out. And you were by yourself, right? Yeah, I was by myself. You did not get video or anything? No.
I don’t have it installed at the moment, but I have a dash cam. I believe it. I should have run that with me. I might have to do that. I had a dash cam for five years and I ran it continuously for probably about four and a half years or whatever. I had to get my windshield replaced, so I had to take it all apart. I haven’t put it back together again. The whole idea, the reason I got the dash cam was to catch wildlife running across the road because I had that wolf running in front of me. All right. Yeah. And no one believed me. And so then I’m like, I’m going to get an effing dash cam. I’ll tell you. When I got the dash cam, nothing ever happened. Yeah. Yeah.
That’s what happens. The dash cam just doesn’t happen. Today, just today, you’re going to laugh at this. This is another weird one. For a half an hour, I watched a fox and a cat play in my yard. Isn’t this like some old cartoon or children’s book or something? A fox and a hound. This was a fox and a cat. They played. They looked… they were either doing a very poor job of fighting or they were playing. Oh, they literally. So I got up really early. I had to go do something, not waste gas. Yeah. And I got back early. So I got back, I got back, I got up and left and went and did an errand for my job. And I got back here and it was like maybe eight 15.
and I sat down to have some water and I’m sitting there and I have the big window open, big sliding glass door looking out into my backyard which has got woods. Out comes this fox and he’s prancing around my yard. And then he, like I’ve got a big wide view of this and He goes into the woods and then this cat chases him out of the woods. And then it’s chasing him around my backyard. And I have some, I’ve been doing, you know, I did a bunch of yard work. I mentioned I was tearing up, you know, stumps and whatnot. So I’ve got like some, you know, branches and stuff out in a pile out in the backyard that I need to deal with.
and they were running around the branches. And then at one point the fox is close. So I can see the Fox. I can’t see the cat. The cat comes shooting over the top of these branches onto the fox yeah so i think i think uh pretty soon we’re gonna have little fox like kittens. Oh, I want to see this. But anyway, I don’t know that they were doing it but uh yeah Yeah, but it was weird. I mean, I sat there and watched it for probably at least 25, 30 minutes, I swear. These things are ripping around my yard. You got to get out your camera, your brother-in-law’s piss camera. I took a picture of it. Get out your brother-in-law’s piss video camera. I did take a picture to share with my wife because she never believes me when I see stuff. Yeah.
But yeah, that was, I mean, that’s another weird thing, but apparently there’s, I was actually, my wife told me, she’s like, foxes are becoming domesticated. I haven’t heard that. You haven’t. Well, there’s an article about it. And because they’re, they’re like coming close. The people are encroaching upon their territory, but they’re becoming more friendly. And so they’ll in areas, they’re becoming like dogs, basically like pets. Yeah. So, yeah, he was just running around, having a good old time. His cat was chasing him. I’ve only seen foxes, I think, twice in my life. Oh, really? Out in the wild, yeah. Well, I told you, I seen a fox in my backyard that was like the Arnold Schwarzenegger of foxes, right? It was like super huge and muscular fox. But this one was more like a regular fox that you’d see in the zoo or something.
You need to have like an animal bingo card. I think like all the, I keep wanting to buy a, uh, like a game cam, put it out there, but I want to get a really good game cam. So I keep talking to myself about it because it costs so much money. So all the money you’re saving by not driving around like me. I mean, true. If I just, if I would, uh, if I was spending your kind of money on gas, just, I could have had two or three game cams by now, at least. So we can see this so-called cat fox play miracle. Well, it happens. These weird things happen all the time. Yeah. Now I’m seeing these giant birds, but that’s a whole other thing. Oh, thunderbirds. Oh, here we go. No, no, not thunderbird. There’s a lake, and these cranes will fly in, and these things are freaking huge. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, like a pterodactyl coming in. Yeah, you see the shadow like blocks out the sun and then they come down and it’s just a big crane. Oh, yeah, they’re cool. Yeah. Yeah, we have a lot of those coming in here lately, it seems like. So it’s just like, what the frick is that? Man, you’re lucky seeing all this, man. Yeah. And then there’s this raccoon in the evening. Yeah. Every night, he runs across my neighbor’s driveway. I can see my neighbor’s driveway. He comes out across my neighbor’s driveway. I don’t know where he’s going. Do you feed him? He’s like a DoorDash raccoon. He’s going to bring it back. I don’t know what he’s doing. Do you feed him? No. You refuse to feed him? No, I don’t refuse to. Unlike yourself, I’m not going to spend my money on…
Raccoon chow or whatever to stick out there. Raccoon chow. My good man. Would you have some raccoon chow back there, please, sir? Is that raccoon chow you have in that bowl, sir? Yes. As opposed to the fox, the raccoon does not want to be seen. He is very sneakily running around where the foxes didn’t do a crap. They’re not colonel. Yeah. No, that’s why I said that. But he comes out in daylight, though, which is also weird. I mean, it’s close to night, but it’s not night. Yeah. We have a bunch of raccoons around here. And bunnies and squirrels. It’s going to be upsetting my dog. He’s looking at me like… Cavalcade of animals here. Yeah. So what’s going on with you, by the way? Well, I was playing with my cat and raccoon and fox and dog. Oh,
my box. You’re all my friends. We were in Narnia together. Everybody, come on. Mr. Thomas. I went garage sale with my youngest son. He’s an adult. Is this the first time this year? You know, I I occasionally stop by one or two, you know, I mean, I don’t know if it’s the first one this year, but any garage that’s open, I’ll stop and take a look around and see what I want. It’s free. I mean, I just go on. There’s no pricing. It’s free. And no, this was like one of these townwide garage sales, you know, like these little, you know, podunk towns. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Come on down. Rednecks got the garages open. Come on down. Right. I’m like, well, let’s go see some rednecks. Let’s go. Yeah.
Yeah. Let’s go waste some gas, son. Come on. I just put 40 bucks in that gas tank. We’re going to do it. I just filled her up. Let’s go run it out before mom has to go to work on Monday. I just took out $500 cash. We’re going to do it right now. And, uh, just a bunch of crap, you know, just a huge amount of crap, you know, just like, yeah. You like, you love the crap. Oh, I love my baby clothes. Oh, I love my baby clothes. Oh. I love a good baby. That is too small for you to actually put on. Yeah, no, I, there was like, yeah, I was just like, there was like, these aren’t for adults. I have an inner child, but it’s not mine. I just like the smell of baby clothes. Yummy. And, uh, so no, there was like, you know, I,
not even the least bit interested in all this crap, you know, crap, crap, crap. You know, like it’s being at your house, like all this crap, crap, crap, little candle crap. Bob would have that crap. Crap. And, uh, what’s that? You got a bears logo on it. I was looking for bears logos. Actually, I was looking for the, uh, special edition, um, The McMahon candle with the bears logo and the shades and a headband. How much you want for that used bears thong out there? How much? How much? And, uh, you know, we’d already been to a few and like completely struck out. I’m like, ah, my son’s like, well, let’s go. Let’s see a few more. I said, okay. What’s he looking for? Is he just humoring you? I just, you know, we look around to see what the hell, you know? Okay.
sometimes you get lucky, you know, who knows, but, uh, and so there’s this house and, uh, for some reason, this guy’s got like this huge, uh, like, uh, flag of ireland flying outside. I don’t know why, but i’m like, okay. Maybe he’s Irish. I, well, I took it to be Irish. He’s got like all of his goodies for sale. He’s got a harley for sale out in the yard and he’s got that’s big doings there. some old pickup truck out there for sale. I’m like, oh, this is a good old boy, man. He’s a downside. Come on in, guys. Come on in to the Redneck Special. Get in here now. Right? We go in and my son actually bought some shoes from this guy. What kind of shoes was he selling?
No, they were just some nice dress shoes. He’s like, well, these are new, boy. I never wore them. If they were used shoes, I wouldn’t buy them. I don’t know. They looked in good condition. They did. I’ll believe you. Okay, so they’re transacting this, and I’m looking around, and I’m like, crap, crap, crap. Wait, like cookie cutter things, you know, little cookie cutter, you know. Just what you need. Yeah. I don’t really need them, but I’m looking at them. Now, I’ve described the guy, the house, the layout, right? In the middle. I could entertain your mother with these cookie cutters by pushing them into my belly at night. I would have green stars, purple horseshoes, and blue diamonds. Yeah. You want to see the Christmas tree, huh? I bobbed my belly. Christmas tree looks like a butt plug if you look at it. I didn’t even get into doing your butt cheeks. In the middle of this is… I had to get some ethnic help on this, I guess, because I had to identify what was in this picture, but
There were two, I would say Hebrew symbols. Okay. In the midst of this, I thought, oh, okay. Cause there’s a thing, the star David, which I knew what it was like. Okay. Well, that’s good. And there’s another thing I go, I don’t know what it is, but I know this is, you know, some Hebrew writing or something. I didn’t know what it was. And it threw me. Cause I’m like, this gentleman just really does not come off as, you know, being like Jewish or anything, you know, Irish, Irish Jew. Yeah, I’m like, I was really confused. He’s a redneck Irish Jew. I go, I don’t know, this is too much to take in. I think that’s a country song. I was a redneck Irish Jew. And the town he was in certainly would not allow it, I’m sure. I believe Larry David is going to be singing that on his new country album because everybody’s got one. What? What? I was selling my cookie cutter. What? What? Yeah.
So many questions. I just, I was so tempted. I don’t know why. I just was so tempted just to ask this guy, like, could you give me a background on this? Because I just. I thought you were going to say, can you give me a back rub? Can you give me, you know, I’m not really into a lot of things, but could you give me a back rub, please? The possibility of you being a masseuse was very high. I’m full of all sorts of surprises, boy. Okay. Yeah. I just, I don’t know. I found that very bizarre. I’m like, wow, why would he have star? Did you buy it? Oh, okay. Oh, by the way, I had to go to our friend CB, you know, cause CB is really right. Did you take a picture and send it to CB? Yes, I did. I go CB, help me out quick. I need this. I go, what is that? He goes, oh, well, there’s this game we play, blah, blah, blah. It’s a dreidel. Like, oh, I know what that is. It’s a dreidel. Yeah. It was a dreidel. Yeah.
Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel. I made you out of clay. Which I didn’t, you know, I mean, I don’t know i i didn’t know what it meant you know like i don’t know that was my guest, Star David Dreidel. There you go. Yeah, I don’t know. I just look like something out of raiders of the lost Ark. I didn’t know what it was. Hey, kid, it’s a lost dreidel. I mean, now that i look at the shape, I go, oh, okay, that’s okay. I don’t know. It was just weird. I don’t know. I did not peg this. This completely threw me. Completely threw me. Okay. Yeah. So you didn’t buy anything then? You didn’t buy… You know, I didn’t. Really, just the shoes, really. I don’t think we bought anything. Well, I guess we bought something else. What was that? Yeah.
A gross of paper bags. Are you serious? Yeah, a gross paper bag. Like what size paper bag? Big. Like grocery bag or lunch bag? Piggly Wiggly. Were they really Piggly Wigglies? No, no, but it was that size. I mean, it was like, I don’t know. I would probably buy a gross of Piggly Wiggly bags. Yeah. Just because they had Piggly Wiggly on them. No, I don’t know. No, I don’t know. It’s all this stupid crap people sell, you know. A gross of grocery bags. Wow. Yeah. What do you get for your lunch? Yeah, my lunch. I like to take, like, a full-size, you know, crash bag. I can put a whole bag in here, honey. I’m hungry, Mom. Yeah, all these weirdos selling stuff. You’re sneaking office supplies out of the office. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
You really got to have that big of a lunch bag. Yeah. And then like people that sell this crap, you know, they’re all different. Like some people don’t talk at all. You know, they’re very. Cause they don’t really want to sell it. Yeah. Like my wife’s making me do this, you know, kind of like. That would be me. That would be what I would be. I’d be like. I’m selling this white diamonds perfume, but I don’t really want to, you know. I’m like. oh my God, this guy’s gonna buy this gross of grocery bags. Shit. You get the kind of the small talkers. This guy had like the same canned speech for everyone. Hey, we’re having a pretty good weather day. What do you think yeah that’s alright yeah it’s good. These people 30 seconds later, walk up. Hey, we’re having a pretty good weather day. What do you think? I’m like, you whore. You are a whore, sir. You just said that to me. Exactly.
And then you’re like, you guys need to buy any grocery sacks? I will undercut this man right now with my gross paper bags. I will undercut this son of a bitch. You know what this garage sale needs? Some grocery bags. I’ll sell you some for a dollar. You want a dreidel? Yeah, a dreidel. Dreidel. They’ll be like, what’s a dreidel? What? It’s like you. What? What is this? I don’t know. I had no idea what it was. I don’t know. Oh my gosh. Okay. Oh. Oh. Oh. Any other interesting tidbits? Did you get like a bargain on a sex swing or anything? Uh, you know, there was no, cause I mean you do, you know, every once in a while, like we got old nudie mags out here right next to the kids toys. If you want to, you know, you ever go to,
garage sale though there’s something like completely inappropriate you know they’re like what the fuck is this i don’t think i mean i’ve seen that no people like like dirty videos yeah and like nudie makes like all yeah really okay uh you like boobies it’s right next to the uh you know i don’t think i’ve ever seen any pornography yet well not often i’m just saying yeah i’ve i’ve seen stuff you know Apparently, you’ve had a lot of garage sales. I have gone to some garage sales, yes. No, I mean at your house, because your wife’s like, we’re getting rid of these. Oh, no, no, no, no. Every time you have garage sales, try to get rid of them, and then you just get more. Mine are stowed away safely in the basement in an old speaker box. Oh, I was going to say, hermetically sealed. No, no. Because I recall, if I recall. Yeah.
At least one of your sons had a Jenny McCarthy playboy in his time capsule or something. I have no comment to that. Absolutely no comment. Yeah, because I think I was hanging out whenever that got stowed. Yeah, maybe. I don’t know. It’s hard to say. It’s hard to say. You really can’t peg that that way. that’s i wasn’t around for the other one, so i have yeah i don’t know. You make it up. I don’t know. Figure it out. When’s he gonna open that, by the way? No, you know, I showed it to my oldest son. He could care less. He’s like, oh, you just throw it all that way. I’m like, Oh, nice. Oh, my God. Don’t throw it away, Dad. Don’t throw it away. I was just joking. I was just joking. I was going to throw away all that shit you collected when I was born. Quit crying. God. My dad’s crying now. Look at him. Yeah. You had a pretty good day. Yeah, it was a fun day. Yeah.
Fun day was had by all. Uh-huh. Well, maybe next time you’ll hit the nudie mag. Jackpot. Yeah, jackpot.