“Facts Of Life” Chick Rating System

*Disclaimer: Bob has requested that I put together this chart (he made me do it). I have based it on the hit TV show, “The Facts of Life” and my own disfunction years in the Illinois public school system and girls that I knew at the time in high school. I wasn’t much of a ladies man back then (I couldn’t get to third base with a bowling ball), but here it goes:

Blair BLAIR-She’s super hot and way out of your league. Big hair, lots of make-up and mega attitude. You’ll have to be a jock and/or have a decent bank account to get this one. You don’t have a chance.

Jo JO-Natural good looks, but bitchy personality. She’s probably in your league. She might be a little too butch for some, but she’s mechanical. She would probably do your homework if asked.

Tootie TOOTIE-In twenty years, at your reunion, you’ll kick yourself for not asking her out. The “brace face” look scared you away when you where in school. She’s like your buddy’s kid sister and she’s a carpenter’s dream. She’s in your league, but you pass on this one and give her time to grow (see you at the reunion!).

Natalie NATALIE-Well, she’s a got a nice personality! Where do you begin with this one? She’s too chatty and probably hangs out around your locker for no reason. You suspect she likes you, but she’s too much of a train wreck to fool with. Pass on this one and give her number to your buddy.

Mrs. Garrett MRS GARRETT-I won’t even go into this one, but I’m sure Bob would enjoy looking at her ass (that’s his thing).


Facts of Life CastFacts of Life Cast